Cs up

Cs up
reppin the bridge far and wide.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

A Light Dusting

I think it is because I am really beginning to feel how close I am to leaving but the last few weeks I feel my arabic has made leaps and bounds. I am pretty sure I am just sad about leaving and therefore feeling more connected and a part of jordan (and it a part of me) as each day goes on, I am really going to miss it here.

Tomorrow is Laith, my host nephew's, birthday! He is turning 9 : ) Jackie and I are going to make a cake for a hafla (party) the family is having on thursday. I think my house in the states is going to feel so boring compared to here! Well, I guess I have the whole family at christmas to transition from the arab life style back to american but its sure will feel quiet for a while. I have gotten used to returning home to seeing at least 5+ faces staring at me as soon as I walk through the door. Matthew and I will certainly have lots of bonding time (heh heh heh).

I have been running around downtown getting christmas presents, studying for my finals, and getting out with my friends before we are scattered about the states. Actually a friend from high school (and even as far back as king open!) came to Jordan this past week and I had a great time showing her some chill spots in Amman.

Also earlier this week Tala, Laith, Amal and I went to the grand opening of a mall because Maher
works for the company who owned the mall. He had made a video that was playing on the electronics floor and written up all of the printers price tag cards. His were by far the best, all the information, a little color, proper english, it had everything. It was a nice affair with a red carpet tent, fireworks, music, so it was a good night.

We are having some pretty crazy weather right now. Not only rain but it might even snow!! We will see, I really want it to snow just so i can take a picture and prove it to people in the US (this is not to be cofused with positive feelings for snow, i do not miss it in the slightest. But alas, I am sure i will get my fill when I get back to the US). I will leave you with todays weather icons i saw when i logged onto weather.com at 9 am and 3 p today:

It sure is getting cold!!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

geeet moneyy!

Finally a company is honest about their values!! I am researching construction companies that are major players in different middle eastern countries and i came across this on a company in Libya and thought it was just sooooo great compared to all of the companies who claim to be saving the world

My Heart Will Go On

Man the weekend feels good! I am especially happy because my mom just changed my flights so instead of having an 8 hour lay over in JFK only to fly to DC and have a 3 hour layover and THEN get to boston i am now flying to JFK, have a 2.5 hour layover and flying straight to Boston. what a lifesaver! Additionally i will now be arriving home on the 22nd instead of the 24th so inshallah i will not be a jetlagged mess on xmas eve.

today some friends and I went to wild jordan, a restaurant that is run by the ecological something something part of the government. It is an effort to make jordanian tourism more green and sustainable, the restaurant is one aspect. It was interesting because for my internship class we read a case study of wild jordan but I had never actually gone. All the food is healthy, organic, and harvested/cooked in ecofriendly ways. The seven of us were seated in what seemed to be the hallway but it was nice anyway. On the way to get a cab we walked up rainbow street, which has a lot of cafes and hang out areas for shebab (guys), and I saw a group of guys huddled around a man playing an accordian playing my heart will go on!! i couldnt keep from laughing, it was so great.

Only 17 days left...I cant believe it. I have to write a case study on Al Jidara (where I intern), take a final for Amerca and the Arabs, a spoken and written 3mia final and a written and listening fousha final. Seems like a lot to pack into 17 days, oh yea and i have to pack too!. My time here has been amazing but I am really excited to go home. Not that I am unhappy in any way, I love my life here, which I know is because of my amazing host family, but I cant wait to see everyone back in Cambridge. It is not like each day was a challenge or that I could really pinpoint one thing but living here was harder than I thought it would be. Nothing in particular, and not bad, just different. I think because I had such an amazing time in Korea I thought that being here would be easy, but there is a difference between 6 weeks and 3 months. Regardless I am still really excited to go to Korea. I think it will be completely different from here but my experiences here will help me living away for so long as well.

I am slightly worried (well not really) about Korea because I think I have a complacent attitude, like oh, i have lived there for 6 weeks, I know everything, its going to be super easy, whereas coming to jordan i knew i was starting from scratch and going to struggle. I need to keep telling myself that i shouldnt get full of myself and assume i know everything (even though i do know everything) so i can have the best experience ever instead of letting myself down. At least I am aware of this and can pull in the reins if I ever feel that i am trying too hard or get frustrated because i feel like i shouldn't have the new comer problems. I am planning to stop in Hong Kong on the way there to see my best friend lukas, who studied abroad near shanghai this semester and will be in hong kong next semester. I am also planning on getting to Korea a little early to meet up with some guys from Drexel who are there working in Hubo lab but will be leaving as soon as my semester starts and of course my korean lab boys.

ah but i still have my wonderful time hanging out in cambridge until february! I will slave away in the Harvard mailroom to make ends meet and hopefully just spend the whole month hanging out with people i havent seen and wont see for a while. ALSO I WILL TURN 21!!! ALHAMDULILAH! I have already told my dad that since i spent a semester in a muslim country and will then be legal i plan on spending the whole month of january in a drunken stupor. i will be accepting donations to this cause...youll know where to find me in cambridge soon enough! until then i gotta hit the books and earn my As!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

post-eid depression

hey everyone! it has been a while since I have posted but my dad kept me busy hitting the pavement over eid. So busy in fact I didn't have a single day to sleep in before going back to school this week...pretty rough. I think by now I have seen every tourist site in Jordan....twice. but it was fun and nice to see my dad. We spent a lot of time with my family, which was great. It gave my dad a real view of Jordan.

however it is pretty obvious that everyone is in a post-eid depression. everyone had such a great time traveling during the eid and now vacation is over. I think eid is really what everyone who came on this program was most thinking about when they joined, traveling around, really experiencing the middle east.

But now I am back in full swing, not that i stopped over the eid, especially at my internship. They just won a big contract and as a result have hired me for a paid position in addition to being an intern. It is great to have some income but I have a lot more responsibility and work to do now! Its not just punching in my 9 hours per week, it doesn't matter how many hours I take just that I deliver the results to the client on time.

We just got our Arabic midterms back and I did outstanding! Really happy with my grades, high As all around. But I can't get complacent, I have less than a month left here, finals will be here soon! I have spoken and written Arabic finals, a political science final, and a case study for my internship to write so I will certainly have my hands full. It hasn't quite hit me yet, I am enjoying this weekend to the fullest before I start thinking about it.

yesterday i helped my friend ahmad move from one apartment in amman to another. His previous one was on the 5th floor with no stairs! so im not sure if that counts as relaxing but I had a great time hanging out with him and his brothers. additionally he has a moped so i got to scoot around the crazy streets of amman, which was adventurous to say the least.

Thanksgiving was also outstanding! I went over to a friends house where I had the most awesome meal ever. There was turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and copious amounts of gravy. I was in heaven.

I may be going to Irbid (the second largest city in jordan) to pick olives with ahmad's family tomorrow so I am going to hit the hay. Maybe I will watch the 7th harry potter since I already have it on dvd before i go to sleep : )

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Zombie Time

My short time in Tunisia was great. What made it so awesome was the my friend Amine had allll the hook ups. Arab culture is all about who you know and felt good to finally be someone in the know!

On my second night there I got to go to a belly dance show/dinner. I was moderately horrified. I felt like I was in a strip club. Probably didnt help that the table across from me was filled with african business men who really enjoyed the show. When they ran out of film on their camcorders and space on their cameras they whipped out their cell phones to take videos and pictures. I am sure they have some great ones of me in the background with some priceless expressions. Maybe it is from being covered up for the past two months but it just felt so harram! i guess it is culture but still....old men oggling young, half naked women felt very uncomfortable to me.

I also got the chance to go see the second largest colosseum in the world (to rome) and the Great Mosque, the third most islamic holy site (to mecca and medina). I had no idea there was so much history in Tunisia, I thought it was a litte po-dunk country at the top of Africa! Also did you know Star Wars was filmed here?!?! Tatouine actually exists, it is a city in Tunisia!

It was also great to spend time with Amine. Even though he was busy a lot organizing the conference he was there for I was happy for what time we had.

Currently I am sitting in a cafe in Tunis waiting to go to the airport for my flight. I have internet, turkish coffee, and I believe I can fly is playing, what more could i ask for? I actually have an interesting 24 hours ahead of me. My flight leaves Tunis at 10 35 pm. I get into Cairo and then have a 6 hour lay over and then get to Amman at 10 35 am the next mornign. I am anticipating that I will go straight to the University because I have class at 2 and also have to take a make up midterm at some point. Theoretically I will have lots of time to study on the plane and I actually think I will because it is unlikely I will sleep. I just hope my studying outweights my lack of sleep! I then will go and pick up my dad at the airport : )

So there is no rest in my future but I guess I can sleep when I am dead. I have actually never been a fan of that expression, I hate not sleeping. We'll see how it goes! Until later!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Mohammed, Mohammed & Mohammed

Cairo was outstanding. I wasn’t sure how I was going to like it because I honestly have never heard a Jordanian say a single good thing about it, “It’s crowded, it’s dirty, they try to rip you off, don’t bother.” But I had the greatest time ever. I was visiting my friend from high school, Veasey, who I haven’t seen over a year, maybe two. He is studying abroad in Cairo and lives in an apartment on an island in the Nile! It is as un-island like as possible but it was still cool to look out the window in the morning and be like “oh hey, that’s the Nile.” The whole time I was there I continually had Mark Twain running through my head, “Da Nile ain’t just a river in Egypt.”

Veasey and his friend Toon picked me up from the airport and we chilled for the afternoon before going out for Toon’s birthday that night. They actually got a flat tire on the way to pick me up so I felt super bad but am eternally grateful I didn’t have to try and get to where Veasey lives on my own. We had tons of fun in downtown Cairo that night : )

The next day was one of the best days I have had so far in the Middle East. Veasey and I were heading to the pyramids. We took the subway, which was soooo clean and nice!!! We then took a taxi-van-bus sort of thing to get from the subway stop to the pyramids. This is where things get interesting. First of all, there are no doors on the van so I was holding on for dear life since I was closest to the opening of all the people squeezed in.

Then two guys were talking to us, Mohammed and Mohammed. It turned out they were going to the pyramids as well (actually were not really sure if that is what they were planning on doing before our encounter…). At first Veasey and I were weary due to Egyptian reputation of doing anything to get money out of tourists. We got to the gate though and they bought us tickets because Egyptian tickets are basically free compared to the tourist’s price. It didn’t end up working out because of the security but we were grateful they tried. They spent the day with us at the pyramids, teaching us some Arabic and showing us around. Due to our original skepticism I had told them that Veasey and I were married and as a result I now have several pictures they took of us together with our hands making heart shapes and other interesting poses.

Afterwards Mohammed and Mohammed invited us to their houses to meet their families. We took a took-took, the motorized three wheel things that are popular in India, and then walked through a maze of dirt street allies to get to Mohammed’s house. It looked like slums but we think it was middle class housing. The little kids in the “street” were intrigued with me and Veasey and a little scared it seemed. I think they warmed us to us though after Veasey played some soccer with them and I spoke a little Arabic with them.

Mohammed’s mom then cooked us a fish dish that I am sure was great, but you all know my feelings on fish. Turns out Veasey doesn’t like seafood either but we obviously weren’t going to say no. It was funny because neither of us knew the other didn’t like it until Veasey got the hint when Mohammed insisted on putting more on my plate and I was more than just politely refusing (not that it worked…nor did I expect it to but a girls gotta try).

After eating, we walked around some more and out of nowhere there was a pool table! We played a few games (America vs. Egypt, of course) and then headed to an internet café to add each other on facebook. Veasey and I were super tired by this point and Mohammed helped us get on a bus back to the metro. These guys were super nice and I felt like I got to see the non-touristy side of Egypt and got to meet some real people. It was also really nice because whenever guys would hassle me or other guys would be hassling us to ride camels Mohammed and Mohammed took care of it. I think Veasey and them are going to the zoo next week. I couldn’t have asked for a better day.

Today I made another friend named Mohammed. My Expedia itinerary said my flight to Tunisia was departing from terminal two. Well it turns out terminal two does not exist. My taxi drove up and it looked like it was under construction but it had been halted five years ago. I then got dropped off at a different terminal, which wasn’t the right one. And then walked to a different terminal, which wasn’t the right one. And then got on a shuttle bus to the proper terminal. I turned to the man next to me and asked him if this is where I got off for terminal three. At this point my flight was leaving in an hour and I hadn’t even checked in yet. He was a tour guide in Egypt and I told him how I was worried about catching my flight and he totally took me under his wing. At first I was a little nervous, I just thought he was coming on to me when he was offering to help but I figured things were done in the Arab world through connections and i really didn't think I was going to make my flight. I was already mentally planning on how I was going to get back to Veasey's, trying to describe directions to the taxi. Since Mohammed had tour guide credentials he could do some special thing where he registered being my helper with the tourist police (quickly) so he could go with me to areas where normally only ticketed passengers could go. He had me running off of the bus and through the terminal. And then he said "ok give me your passport, I need it to check in with the airport security so they will let us both through, with me as your escort." I hesitated. I thought, ok he had me moving really fast, to make me feel urgency, like I have no other choice so that when he asks for my passport I will just instantly hand it over. I think he could see that I was really nervous to hand over my passport but I then thought, I have had such amazing encounters in Egypt. I am going to trust this guy (and also watch him like a hawk while he talks to the police). He came back 30 seconds later, handed me my passport and we were off. He then rushed me through the airport, skipped all of the lines, and I got to my gate before the plane even started boarding. I wouldn’t have made it without him. I know people prey on this sense of trust but I would have had a completely different, more boring, and perhaps even longer stay in Egypt (if i didn't make my plane) if I hadn't. A little trust goes a long way, and I guess I am learning I would rather make some mistakes along the way then spend my whole life sheltered within myself.

So three Mohammed’s later, I had an amazing time in Egypt. Seeing Veasey was the best thing ever. I have said it before and I will say it again, people from Cambridge are the best. Looking forward to my time in Tunisia, already had a great night just hanging out with my friend Amine from Korea : )

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Keep On Goin'...

I am gearing up for my Arabic midterms next week. Last Wedenesday, we had our spoken 3mia (jordanian dialect of Arabic) midterm. My friend Ashley and I memorized a dialogue and performed it for our class. It was quite scandalous, you see we were on our way to a party and i wanted to dance with khalid but khalid had kissed maha yesterday and also hugged muna (haarrrrrraam!), so instead i danced with ahmed. I think we performed it well and with enthusiasm and completely memorized (my host brother made me memorize ashley's lines too) so I was happy with the results.

I still have my listening 3mia, and the written fousha (standard arabic) test to take next week. I am feeling pretty good about it, but we will see. The hamza charts and nunnition are killing me.

LAST NIGHT I HAD PIZZAAA!! it was so exciting. I went out to dinner with a guy (and my roomate and his roomate) I met randomly, Max, who is here this semester (obviously) and going to be in Korea next semester! strange... but we get a long great and just gives me another reason to look forward to korea. There is a pizza place in the building where the CIEE office is that smells amazing but for some reason i haven't gotten it yet...but last night i saw turkey pizza on the menu at a restaurant downtown and just had to have it. He also showed me this awesome fruit market that I didn't know existed so hopefully I will have some awesome figs and persimmons in the near future.

Also this week I went swimming in a pool! My friend Waleed is a physical education major at University of Jordan and so he has a hook up at Fitness First, a super nice gym in Amman, who got us into their pool for free (usually it costs 15 JD to get into JUST the gym, which is over 21 bucks). Waleed is on the national boxing team of Jordan so it was nice to finally be better at him than something physically. I mean swimming isn't all that popular in Jordan simply because there is nothing to swim in so I could swim laps around most everyone there. I taught Waleed, Waleed's swimming coach friend who got us in, and some random guy in the lane next to us a little synchronized swimming; it was pretty priceless. It was such an awesome afternoon.

Alright I have to get back to hitting the books. This friday I am off to Egypt and Tunisia so I have to make every minute count! And if anyone was worried about my American and the Arabs midterm, I talked to my professor who was not fussed in the slightest I wasn't going to be present on test day. I will just make it up whenever I have time. holllla!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Pre-Eid plans!

I just booked my tickets to go to Cairo and Tunisia the week before Eid!! I am so excited. My Arabic teacher, Muna, inspired me with a speech about how we are not here to just learn the Arabic language, and shouldn't be in the library but out exploring and traveling (not that anyone had to tell me but it is nice for an authority figure to reinforce your plans to skip class).

I met a guy named Amine in Korea and he sent me a message on facebook the other day saying he was going to be in Tunisia (he is from there) and that I should come visit! But the only time he would be there was the week before Eid. Unfortunately I have all of my midterms then. woops. I guess I will have to go talk to my teachers but I am (unusually) not worried in the slightest. When will I be back here? I mean I obviously plan on it but there is no way a test is going to stop me from doing what I came here to do (even though it is called STUDY abroad...).

My friend Veasey is studying abroad in Cairo so I am going to visit him on my way to Tunisia. I think it is going to be a great trip. And then, the night I return to Jordan my dad arrives! What could be better?! We will then proceed to galavant across the country, and into Lebanon as well. Apparently Lebanon is very crowded during Eid so my condition for going there over somewhere else was that we follow in Anthony Bourdain's footsteps from No Reservations when he went to Beiruit (inshallah our episode won't end like his did in 2006...).

So I have some exciting travels coming up! Until then I will be dutifully studying (to some extent) to make up for my absence : )

Annyeonghaseyo?

AThis past weekend I went to Aqaba to celebrate my friend Ashley's 20th birthday. On the bus ride down (the 5.5 hour bus ride down might i add...) I heard some guys speaking in Korean behind me. When we had to get off the bus to have our bags searched before entering the Aqaba Special Economic Zone I started talking with them and got to pracice my Korean. It felt super weird to be an American in Jordan speaking Korean but it was really fun!! Turns out the guy actually lives right near Yonsei University, where I will (inshallah) be attending next semester. I went home early one afternoon when nooooo one was in the house (a rarity with my family) and did all of the paperwork for Korea. It was such a relief. I feel much more on top of my game for going abroad next semester than when I was preparing for Jordan but I think it is just the pressure of not havign internet constantly and not being able to call the office easily or just being out of touch that I am actually sending my paperwork in on time.

Anyway I had a great weekend in Aqaba. There were marines there that hadnt seen females (or anyone else for that matter) in several months so they were more than willing to by us dinner, argilla, drinks (thats the only way to go, so expensive otherwise!) so we had a great night. The Red Sea was, as always, amazing. The water was so clear that I had no trouble seeing the sand colored fish more than 30 feet below me on the sandy bottom. Its remarkable. This coming weekend we are heading to Jerash for the day and maybe, inshallah, i will get some sleep in!

I have been practicing spanish with my friend Ali since his spanish is better than his english so hasta luego!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Golden Triangle

This weekend was the epic “Golden Triangle” CIEE trip. We went to Wadi Rum, Aqaba, and Petra.

Wadi Rum is a valley dessert that has large beautiful rock formations and waves of sand dunes. We spent the first three hours riding camels. Let me just say that is about 2.75 hours too long. Not that my camel was mean (I think three people got bucked off their camel) but man those saddles are not built for comfort. However the day did contain a major revelation. Believe it or not, Arabs actually know what they are doing when they cover their heads in the sun, IT MAKES SUCH A DIFFERENCE!! I was in the dessert, in the sun, on a camel and didn’t sweat the whole entire time because I had something on my head. I was amazed. Not that it should be all that shocking; they have been living here forever.

Our camels took us to a Bedouin camp where we ate some awesome food, danced, had some argilla, shaay (tea), and laid out in the desert under the stars. I thought the stars were good in Maine, but they can’t even compare. There were so many it seemed we could connect stars anywhere in the sky to make any constellation. There were even shooting stars. However we did have to watch out for trucks barreling towards us. Since we were near the Saudi border we had to be careful cigarette smugglers did not scoop us up or run us over for that matter. I hope it is just as beautiful when I (hopefully) go camping in Egypt with my friend Veasey.

The next morning there were maybe 25 trucks waiting outside the Bedouin camp. I was reallllly excited for this activity. It was super fun but I was expecting driving up sand dunes, maybe flipping the car over, but everything was pretty tame. Towards the end our driver finally got some pep and would drive out of the line of cars, and over plants and such. We cheered him on calling him Ricky Bobby, not really sure if that translated but he laughed, we laughed, it was great.

Our next stop was Aqaba, a port on the Red Sea. We got off the bus and went straight on to three big boats. It was a beautiful ride where we passed Israel and saw Egypt and Saudi Arabia across the way to get to the coral reef where we snorkeled. It was the coolest thing ever, just like the pictures in national geographic. I had never been before and everything was just so exciting. I saw sea urchins, a puffer fish, sea cucumber, tons of vibrantly colored fish and lots of coral.

The boat I was on had a ledge on the second floor that we could jump off of into the water. My friend Karina was a little nervous about jumping and said she would jump if I would. I instantly started counting to three and when I jumped I did a dive in the pike position. Little did I know that at that moment not only everyone on my boat was watching, but the other boat too. When I resurfaced (and got my bottoms back on super quick) everyone seemed super impressed, it was my five minutes of fame. Even getting off the boats I had people coming up to me saying how pretty my dive was. Score. Thanks Andy : )

As soon as we got off the boat we went straight to Petra. We didn’t get to see any of Aqaba except our exclusive boats so I definitely have to make a trip back. We arrived at our second Bedouin camp at 10 30 and we were starving! I shared a tent/room with my friend Emily, had some nice pillow talk with the guys next door, and then hit the hay to get ready for a full day at Petra.

Petra was cool. I personally liked the snorkeling more but I guess you can’t live in Jordan and not go see Petra.

Overall the weekend was realllly fun. I was so tired afterwards though, and I had class at 9 am the next day! I am really looking forward to this weekend so I can just sleep in. Waking up each morning has been made easier by the fact there is a tub of hummus in the fridge that I make a pita sandwich with each morning and grab a piece of fruit on the way to school. Best breakfast ever (well obviously second to chocolate chip pancakes and home fries but you can’t really have that every morning). Only one more day to the weekend!

My Internship at Al Jidara

One of determining factors that led me to choose CIEE was that it offered an opportunity to get an internship. After a little bit of confusion and last minute running around I finally got placed at Al Jidara! Al Jidara is an economic development firm. When I first heard “economic development firm” my first reaction was uuuuh who doing what now? Al Jidara works almost exclusively with the government of Jordan, and regional and local governments, to implement programs that help expand the economy of Jordan. Usually a big international organization will have a project in the country and needs a local counterpart and Al Jidara is that local counterpart. However, since they are now expanding to the UAE and already do some work in the West Bank they will start bidding for contracts on their own instead of being just the on the ground helpers.

We were forewarned that working in Jordan was very different that working in the United States, that many previous students just end up frustrated. With this in mind I was surprised when we had specific job description, deadlines, and what seems like a functioning work environment. Another CIEE student, Kendrick, and I will be working on developing the content of their website to keep up with the international expansion. As it is, the website is outdated and does not have that fresh look that will attract clients. Since the company is going in a new direction, the website needs to do the same.

Kendrick and I have been researching other development firms’ websites and will be giving recommendations on changes to the content and style of the website. We’re not doing the actual HTML but rather doing research so Al Jidara can keep up with the times. I think this will be perfect actually because since I am learning the history of the company and all of their pervious projects I am basically learning the economic history of Jordan, which is such a major part of the political history. It will be great research for my thesis. I am comparing Korea and Jordan and economy will definitely be a major point so I am excited!

The work environment seems very Western compared to my expectations. Part of the deal of getting an internship is also attending a class that has a few readings, which so far have just given detailed descriptions of the disasters of what Jordan calls NGOs. Al Jidara is nothing like this. All of their work is conducted in English first of all, so frustration due to language barrier is not an issue. Everyone seems to be productive, there is no chaos, women are wearing tank tops in the office, it seems very….what I am used to (you know, with all of that office work experience I have…). Regardless I think it will be a really productive internship. We are already giving a presentation on Sunday on our recommendations of the basic structure and layout of the website. The nice thing about interning here is since people are not used to the concept of someone working for free we get much more involved in the company than the typical scanning and copying job an intern in the US might have to put up with.

I am really excited to just have another contact point with Jordanians, especially since it is in a completely different setting than the University. There is a lot to learn about life here and the more I get involved the better, more authentic experience I will have : )

Monday, October 4, 2010

Blatant Racism

We read about racism and know it still exists but I have never seen it manifest itself in a single person so strongly. When I think of racism in the United States I think of opportunities that are not given to everyone and quick assumptions that are made but never admitted. No one says they are racist. I have seen racism but I think of institutions, not another human being (even though that obviously exists too).

I was walking one day with my two friends when a Jordanian girl cheerfully approached us. It was the first time a Jordanian spoke to me unsolicited so when she asked to be friends I said sure, why not? We hang out a lot; I have met her friends and really like her, we have tons of fun.

One day we were at lunch together and she asks me, “Would you ever consider marrying a black guy?” Not really realizing what she was getting at I just had a confused face and said of course, if I loved him. I am not one to be speechless but what she said next my brain could not comprehend. “nigger nigger nigger, they are so disgusting. So gross, ew.” I was so taken aback that I couldn’t speak for the next five seconds and when I finally could I began speaking about how no one should be treated differently because of the color of their skin and how can you expect to be treated with respect if you don’t respect others and that we are all people, no matter what we look like. Obviously my explanation was not going to change a lifetime of indoctrination but I had no idea this even existed here.

I was so confused because she seemed so normal. She is a young woman at a university; she is not stupid. How can these racist ideas still exist? And I am torn, I feel like I can’t blame her because it was what she was taught and how she was brought up. But if it is no one’s fault, how will things change? We look back on the South with slavery and wonder how such atrocities could have happened but if that was what you were taught could it excuse your behavior? Can you be held accountable for something that isn’t your fault? Or is it her fault? Should each individual that doesn’t break the mold be held accountable; if you aren’t part of the solution you are part of the problem?

Even just writing this I am confusing myself. Well not confusing myself but realizing how much gray area there really is. Sometimes I think growing up in a progressive environment simplified too much, made right and wrong too easily distinguishable, when the only way to see reality and how people think is to see it for yourself.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Party in the USA

Last night I went to a Marine party at the US embassy! I had no idea that embassies could be so bumpin. We have a Marine on our program that invited some of the crowd to the party. Apparently they have parties at least twice a month. There was a dj, a dance floor, argilla, a bar, and tons of people from all over the world. It was a little weird, especially since I wasn’t drinking (can’t come home drunk or smelling of alcohol in a homestay). I had a good time though; it was so great to hear American music!

Before the party we went out to a Chinese restaurant that was delicious! Believe it or not the most expensive thing we got was all of the water they kept filling our glasses with; 16 JD worth of water! That is $22.50!! Even with that cost though it was still a relatively cheap meal, especially for the outstanding, fancy atmosphere of the restaurant. Our taxi had a lot of tassels hanging from a blue light in the back. One fell off and stuck to me as I got out and it now is a charm on my phone to help distinguish from the other 134 phones we all have on the program. That is my memory of the night because pictures are not allowed anywhere near the embassy.

The party seemed to have more Jordanians than Americans but the Marines will be having a ball to celebrate their birthday on November 10th. The guy from the program said a lot of them will be looking for dates so fingers crossed!

School is in Session

I have finished my first week of school! It has been a hectic week of running around campus, trying to find the right room, good food, and learning Arabic. I have Arabic class everyday. Three times a week I have Fousha, which is modern standard Arabic, for three hours. Fousha is what the news is written in but no one actually speaks it. Two times a week I have Amia, the Jordanian dialect, for an hour and a half. However, since I am in beginner one, we have been doing Amia all week so we can communicate. Many students here who have studied Fousha for four semesters or more have the same vacant “I have no idea what you just said” look that I have when we talk to people because Fousha is apparently useless when it comes to conversation. I am learning a ton though and my family is beyond helpful.

Everyday at home we have Arabic hour and I have a quiz. It is so nice. I can already tell that I am learning a lot more, a lot faster than some of the people in my class. Maher, my host brother (but he is in his thirties, married, kids) threatens to kill me when I don’t study. Additionally, my Arabic teacher, Muna, threatens to eat any students who don’t do their homework. Two days ago though Muna said she would never eat me because I knew a lot of the vocabulary the class could not remember.

I am still learning the alphabet but it is really exciting. I leave class everyday feeling very accomplished because I am able to read that much more. However on our second day of class we had not learned enough letters to read the word “women.” My friend Ashley and I were looking for a bathroom around the university and could only find a women’s room that was completely blockaded on our floor. We went to the next floor and found some bathrooms missing the woman and man pictures. Since on the floor below the women’s room was on the right we assumed it would be on the right on this floor too (which I maintain is legitimate). While Ashley was in a stall (there were no urinals) a boy walked in and just stared at me for a second. He walked out, checked the sign, walked back in and started talking to me in Arabic. I gave him my vacant-i-have-no-idea-what-you-are-saying look but I guess I hadn’t perfected it by then and he just kept on talking. I started talking in English, he went out to check the sign again and then said “for men.” Luckily we had a sense of humor and could not stop laughing, even for the rest of the day. Needless to say, we immediately learned the word for woman and check twice every time I walk into a bathroom.

I am also taking a class titled America and the Arabs. My professor seems like a great guy with a sense of humor. We hopefully will be meeting many important people in the Jordanian government, such as the minister of foreign affairs, the ambassador to Israel, and also go on field trips, like to refugee camps. Additionally, I am supposedly going to be in an internship but it seems some of the paperwork is holding me back because someone from CIEE quit over the summer and lost resumes and what not. Hopefully CIEE can get its act together so I can work for some non-governmental organization as my fourth class.

It can be overwhelming being here but overall I am having such a great time. I am meeting some awesome people, both from the US and from Jordan. Sometimes my head hurts from Arabic overload/ having such a different life but I find that taking a nap is a wonderful remedy. Going to the gym is also a great way for me to just let my brain relax. It is a lot of work to learn Arabic but I can’t wait till I get to the point where I can forget how to make the vacant face.

I feel lucky to be alive everyday...

because of the taxi drivers. The driving is actually crazy. I could probably stick my arm out the window at any time on my ride to school and easily touch an enormous bus or truck. Taxi is my only way of transportation because there are no buses that go to my part of the city, Shmeisani. A significant portion of our orientation revolved around dealing with taxi drivers. Though there are creeps everywhere in the world I have had a great time in taxis so far. For instance last night we had one driver blasting Michael Jackson the whole way home. This morning a driver was telling me about how much Arabs love Americans, but not American policy and continued to discuss the problems with supporting Israel. Even on such an emotional topic the taxi driver was very specific in separating the American people from American policy.

I haven’t felt any hostility from being American either. I went into a store one day to buy water and saw a picture of Saddam Hussein hanging behind the register. The man asked if I was American and I said I was. He then made machine gun motions and sounds. Even then, he was respectful to me and we had a nice conversation. I feel perfectly comfortable telling people I am America; I have received only positive reactions (well, minus the machine gun part).

Even being a woman here is a lot easier than I was expecting. I knew women were relatively free but I was still mentally prepared for a semester of lock down. I mean there is always having to deal with catcalls, but really that is harmless; eventually it just fades into the background. The hardest thing about coming here is not being nice. When someone says hi to me I naturally want to talk to him and smile and get to know him better. However, this sends the wrong messages to creeper guys so I have been working on my mean/don’t talk to me face. It is hard but I have found that you just have to find the right setting (aka not a man in a car or in the middle of the street).

I still can’t wear tank tops or anything above the knees but it almost feels normal now. I would be very uncomfortable wearing a tank top in public. On the positive side I wear beautiful scarves everyday. It does get super hot sometimes but you wouldn’t believe the temperature difference between the sun and the shade. Additionally it is going to start cooling down soon so I won’t be missing my American clothing (or lack thereof).

Speaking of weather, I was caught in my first dust storm two days ago! It wasn’t really a storm with swirling winds; just suddenly there was dust in the air. A few of my friends and I were out to dinner on a rooftop. By the end of the meal we could run our fingers over the table and see how much dust had accumulated. Gross. When we left we could taste it in our mouths and had to wrap our scarves around our heads just to walk around. It was pretty wild. I welcomed it though because it blocked out the sun making it much cooler : )

I will be able to post pictures! Off campus there is a knowledge society that has tons of computers, wifi, study rooms, a copy store, food, and you sign in with your fingerprint! I will be able to upload pics without worrying about slowing down the internet at home. A few more days and they will be up.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Argilla



It has been pointed out that not everyone knows what hookah/argilla is! My bad. I am just going to use argilla from now on to keep up with the Jordanians. Argilla is a large water pipe to smoke shisha out of. Shisha is flavored tobacco that is very wet and sticky. The shisha is put in a little bowl at the top of the hookah and then the bowl is covered in tin foil. Holes are poked in the tin foil and coals go on top. There is a hose that attaches to the base, which is partially filled with water. When someone sucks in it pulls air from the top so the charcoal will heat the shisha and create smoke. The smoke goes down to the base and is cooled off by the water. The result is very thick clouds of smoke. It is hugely popular in my house, meaning multiple times a day. In the US I think of argilla as a very social activity; multiple hoses per hookah and passing back and forth every few puffs. Here it is very individual. It seems everyone has their own and if you are sharing a hose one person will sit on it for a very long time before passing. They keep giving me funny looks every time I pass it back so quickly but I was just trying to share. Here are some pics : )

btdubs no pics

Hey guys.
just wanted to let you know I don't think I will be posting pictures online. If I get the opportunity to do it at UJ I will but I won't know that for a while. Here people are only given a certain amount of internet. I am actually very lucky that my house has internet but we aren't allowed to use YouTube and can only make one video skype call per week, otherwise the internet will get unbareable slow for the rest of the month. Loading pictures online would take way too much for me to do it at home. Like I said though I will try and figure it out at UJ. Until then youll just have to use your imagination (or google).

Friday, September 17, 2010

best family ever

Marhaba! I met my host family last night and it was impossible to wipe the smile off of my face. Jackie and I were the first two to get picked up at the hotel. Maher, his wife Amal, two children Laith and Tala and his niece Zena drove us to Shireen’s house. Lots of other sisters, brothers, nieces and nephews were there too. We had an orientation earlier in the day that was basically a two-hour presentation about how awkward and uncomfortable we were going to be. Fortunately for Jackie and I the awkwardness we were promised only lasted about the first ten minutes and then we were in.

Everyone was super surprised to hear I didn’t know any Arabic. Actually during one of our orientation exercises we were developing the identity of the CIEE tribe because here all someone has to do is say his/her name and then everything there is to be known about this person is known because someone would know the family he/she is from. They don’t ask questions like what is your major or what kind of music do you like because it is not relevant to your identity. Our director would make a statement and if that statement was true for us we would stand up. One of the statements she said was “We don’t know any Arabic” and only five (including me, out of 135) stood up. I guess that was the first time I realized oh, people don’t normally just pick up and go to countries where they can’t speak the language, whatever. We got a round of applause from all the CIEE students but the typical reaction from the family is “oh wow, you have a lot to learn.”

Anyway, Maher said we could put our stuff away and the coffee shop with argilla (hookah) would open in an hour. Jackie and I have a huge closet with large sliding doors covered in mirrors. It is awesome because I brought a small army of mirrors terrified there wouldn’t be any. We have to keep our rooms unnaturally clean (at least compared to my floor covered in a foot of clothing standards), which I think will be harder than learning Arabic.

After we got organized and settled we went outside and had the best time. They have a patio where people from the street can peer down. More and more family members were coming over; including some that brought their own CIEE students too. We spent the night smoking argilla, eating chocolate, drinking Turkish coffee, and laughing with the family. Maher’s oldest brother, Basel came over having already memorized Jackie’s and my profiles. We joked around a lot, warning the other CIEE students as they arrived that we had a spy amongst us. There were noisy children everywhere, multiple hookahs, lots of laughing; it was a huge loving family and we were instantly a part of it. Zena and I played cat’s cradle for what must have been an hour. Additionally, the Jordanians assured me that smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee everyday is good for my health (on a side note, Jordan has a higher life expectancy than the US).

At 11 30 we had dinner. I was a little nervous when I saw the spread and there was no hummus. There were maybe 15 bowls on the table; olives, yogurt, cheese, tomatoes, oregano, olive oil, scrambled eggs, eggplant, cucumbers, jam, and mint. Each person gets a pita and goes at it. Believe it or not I really liked it! My favorite was probably dipping the pita in olive oil and then the oregano, or grabbing some mint and yogurt with the pita. I was so tired I couldn’t wait to go to bed but then Maher turned to us and said want to watch a movie? I figured the later I stayed up the later I would sleep in and was having such a good time I couldn’t say no.

Watching TV is a big part of family time. Even if no one is actually watching, it is on. Maher, Amal, Jackie and I watched Snakes on a Plane (who in the world doesn’t love Samuel L. Jackson?) while Tala, Laith, Zena, and Zaid (a 1.5 year old cousin) fell asleep on the pillows in front of us. The weekends here are Friday and Saturday so Maher said we're all sleeping in until noon or one. Friday is family day because there is no work so when we woke up we had breakfast and lounged around the house until five in our pjs, playing games with Laith, Tala, Zena, and Zaid, smoking argilla, and just relaxing; it was my kind of day.

Breakfast was the same style except there was hummus, yay!! And this bean dish, which I have no idea what they call it but it sounds an awful lot like “food.” There were also cucumbers, eggplant, olives, peppers, and tomatoes. It was really good and it should go without saying but my favorite was pita and hummus. We taught Tala and Laith ninja assassin and they “taught” us (aka made up) a card game that conveniently was impossible to end. Maher is about to take us around the neighborhood and show us how to get to University of Jordan (UJ) to prepare us for our first classes on Sunday.

Well the argilla is about to get passed to me so I have to free my hands. I hope you all are well and your lungs are doing a lot better than mine are going to be after these three and a half months! Masalama!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Day 1 in Jordan!

Hi everyone! I would say hi in Arabic but so far I only know hurry up (which Danielle taught me in Korea) and hookah, but what else do you really need? Today was my first full day in Jordan and despite the jetlag it made me really excited for the coming semester. Though we had to sit through a few hours of presentations and have a few more hours tomorrow it was a great opportunity to explore the group of people I am with. I still am not sure if I feel like I am in Jordan, I mean I feel like it but I haven’t had any interactions besides asking for the bathroom and having a lovely man rub garlic on my arm, but I’ll get to that later. I guess it is nice to ease into transition so I don’t decide to just wander into the dessert from frustration on day two.

I arrived off the plane cranky and praying to the luggage gods that mine had made it. It is very common for luggage to just disappear, it happened to many people on my flight but I was a lucky one. As soon as our activities coordinator Ahmad led us outside the airport I felt my mood instantly change. There was a beautiful breeze and even though I was wearing jeans and a zip up the 80-degree heat didn’t bother me at all; it felt nice.

Our driver skillfully packed the van with all of our luggage and we hit the road to Amman, a 40 minute drive. I was sitting in between the driver and Jenna, a girl who grew up in Korea! We spent the whole drive talking about Seoul and the Korean language that I almost forgot where I was going. The first thing we both instantly noticed from the front seat of the van was the lack of lane dividers, and lanes for that matter. It seems that you just drive where you want, weaving in and out, and emitting a honk or two if a car may be encroaching your personal bubble, which is probably an inch or two smaller than the car itself. However we made it to the hotel in one piece, ate dinner, and went to bed.

In our orientation materials I got a look at my home stay family! I am really really excited, I think I hit the jackpot. I am going to live at Shireen’s house, a 60-year-old woman who loves to cook, feed people, and knows all the neighbors. She has six children. Her son Maher and his wife Amal live in the house as well with their two children Laith (8) and Tala (5). Maher and Amal are both engineers (electric and computer respectively) so I am ever so hopeful there might be internet in the house (I’m not holding my breath though…). Shireen has many grandchildren and the family loves to spend time together so there are almost always people over the house. The family is Muslim and a 15-20 minute taxi ride to the University of Jordan. There is another girl from CIEE that I am sharing a room with too, Jackie. So it sounds like it will be a full and fun house! Lastly my information sheet said that shisha (hookahing) is very popular in the house. This will be an awesome experience. We move in after orientation in two days.

Until then, we have activities planned that keep us busy and give us tons of information. Today we went to the Dead Sea for a full day of presentations, swimming, mud, and food. We rode in the bus (well actually 3 buses, there are 135 kids in the program) for a little over an hour to go to the Dead Sea Panorama. It is on top of a mountain next to the Dead Sea that has just an amazing view. The guy next to me caught me off guard when he said, “wow, I really didn’t think I was going to see Israel today” and I could not stop laughing despite agreeing with the sentiment.

We all took some pictures, sat through orientation presentations and than had an amazing lunch with lamb AND chicken shawarma. I was in heaven, until I stepped outside and was stung by the largest wasp I have ever seen. My first encounter with Jordanian wild life…what a shame. At first I wasn’t worried about it but the swelling got to a point where my friend Chris made me go get some ice. I asked the men who were working in the restaurant for some ice in a napkin (they spoke English to some extent). One guy said “Can I put some garlic on it?” I kind of just looked at him, not sure if I understood him correctly (I am terrible with accents) or should be mentally preparing to bust out the charades. I looked at him like he had ten heads and then said “Garlic, like the food? Yea absolutely!” He laughed a little then came back from the kitchen and rubbed garlic in my wound and after some ice time the swelling went down. It still really hurts but it is a nice little constant reminder I am not in America anymore (I’ve only been stung by a bee once in Charlotte!).

We headed down to the Dead Sea and got to swim and cover ourselves in the mud. It was the craziest feeling ever. I was walking into the water and kept walking until I realized suddenly there was no ground under my feet! I could easily have more of my body out of the water than in the water, such a strange feeling. In one of my finer moments I tried to swim to the bottom and not only failed terribly but instinctively opened my eyes underwater and spent the next ten minutes with my eyes squeezed shut cursing my stupidity. We had more presentations and an outstanding dinner with duck, beef, lamb, hummus, and the most ornate table of desserts I have ever seen.

We finished off the night on the deck overlooking the Dead Sea, seeing the lights of the West Bank across the way. It was truly amazing. I conjured up whatever energy I had left to stay awake on the bus and write this post for you guys but I can’t wait to go to sleep! We have another day of orientating tomorrow at the University of Jordan so I will give my salty eyes and stung arm and sleepy head a break. I unfortunately left my camera cord at home but my roommate’s computer will take my camera’s memory card so I will probably be a lot slower with pictures until my cord is hand delivered or I find a replacement. But I will get into the swing of things soon enough. This is only the end of Day 1 after all!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Final Report

I am just going to start out by saying my time in Korea was amazing. I learned so much while having some of the most fun ever. In this report I am going to explain and reflect on my project, travels, and the people I encountered. I will wrap it up with a summarization of how my trip contributed to the fulfillment of PIRE goals. So without further introduction I will dive into my project in Hubo Lab.

Previous to my arrival at Hubo Lab, Bruce Maxwell and I had laid out a week-by-week plan of what I wanted to accomplish in Korea. A group of students at Colby programmed Simon Says for virtual miniHubo. I planned to program arm movements in Webots, like pointing at whom ever is out. Upon my arrival though this did not sit well with my mentor Inho, who thought my time would be better spent gaining experience with robot movement. My project then changed to learning inverse kinematics and Robotics Lab to simulate a three-degree of freedom Puma robot and programming it to spell out my name in the air with the end effector.

I started my research in textbooks. Since everyone in the lab had taken the introduction to robotics classes as KAIST they had a range of intro books leftover for me to read from. I learned the basics of robotics, such as the classifications of robots, types of joints, and the vernacular in general. However the highest-level math class I have taken is multivariable calculus. I was lost amongst the pages and pages of equations in the textbooks that I could not wrap my head around because I did not have the math knowledge base they assumed. I definitely could have benefited from a linear algebra class. I did not feel comfortable asking for help without a little bit of background as to what I was even asking. I decided to look on the Internet for video explanations.

My first stop was YouTube. I found lectures by Professor Oussama Khatib’s Introduction to Robotics Class at Stanford. It was much easier to understand a person explaining a concept and even more helpful to have video when it came to visualizing rotations. I learned about Denavit-Hartenberg parameters and homogeneous transformations from these videos. This gave me a little more of the background I was missing from round one of reading the textbooks. So a little more confident I went back to the books and was able to understand significantly more. I was then able to ask intelligent, specific questions as opposed to, “I don’t get it.”

Inho gave me a test on what I had learned. This was a bit of an ordeal because he unintentionally gave me a very difficult problem that I had not studied material for and even took him over an hour to solve. Of course we did not discover this until after I had secretly asked every single person in the lab for help at least twice and several frustrating conversations (as if communication wasn’t frustrating enough sometimes already) about not being able to solve an “easy” problem A couple of days and several fried brain cells later, I passed the test and began using Robotics Lab, a robot simulation program. Virtually building my three-degree of freedom Puma robot was pretty uneventful thankfully because I had experimented with Robotics Lab the first week I was in Korea. Besides some minor axes issues I had my robot and its servos running relatively quickly.

After I got the servos running the next step was to control them. Inho gave me some of his code for controlling Hubo. I used this as a reference and a crutch since I did not know C. I did not learn the ins and outs of C (I can do that anytime) but instead learned the ins and outs of my code; I understood the purpose of each line and what happened when it was executed. My program was basically a continuous loop that called a function that calculated the next angle position for the servo until it reached the final position that I hardcoded in. This function changed an array in memory. I then set the appropriate servo to go to the appropriate angle in the array. The program stopped running when the user pressed Q.

However, I wanted to make several movements to spell out my name, not just to one endpoint. I modified my code with a series of if statements that relied on the variable time. Inside each if statement was my angle settings for the servos. In the end, I had programmed my robot to write out my name (L-I-Z) and Inho’s name too because he helped me so much.

I was very proud of my final product. It was really gratifying after spending all of the time and effort to have solidly reached my goal. I was also very pleased with my studies in general. I am normally an independent learner but I have always found I need a human explanation when it comes to math. I knew Inho had a lot of work on his plate so I spent a lot of time finding alternatives and reading things repeatedly to get as much as possible out of each non-human resource. I definitely have never worked so hard at or have been so dedicated to math.

It was really challenging at times though. It was not uncommon for me to be beyond frustrated and confused. The hardest part would be when I had spent hours if not days working on one task, coming at it from every angle, doing absolutely everything and anything I could think of to solve the problem and then being completely stumped. But as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes your stronger. These struggles were what helped me learn the material. Hubo Lab provided the ideal environment for me to study, from the resources to the people.

I found nothing noteworthy about being a female in an all male lab. I prefer it that way; I seem to get along better with those of the male persuasion. Having said that, I loved having Danielle. We became such good friends and she was one of the primary reasons my time was so amazing. From both of us riding a bike at the same time around Daejeon to sharing a moped in Jeju we were best buddies. But I would not attribute our relationship to the fact we were the only women in the lab. I think at first we became friends because we were American and then our personalities clicked so well that our friendship was natural and inevitable.

I love the lab guys. I was skyping with David Urias and he kept saying that every time I mentioned the people I met my “face completely lights up.” The people were definitely my favorite part. Even if it was just a regular day in the lab we still had a fun time. What I liked most about the lab guys was that they were really helpful in the lab but we also had a great time out of the lab. One time we were out at a bar watching the World Cup and I was bemoaning the difficulty of a problem that I was having trouble solving. Cheol then offered to go through the problem from beginning to end with me and the next day we went over it. Another time we were asking for a jimjilbang (bathhouse) in Jeju to spend the night. Jungwoo printed out a list of jimjilbangs on a map in English and Korean. What I liked most about the boys was that I felt I could be myself around them, make jokes, and talk about anything. We even met up with Cheol and his brother in Seoul one weekend.

It is weird that I did not find the age difference between the lab guys and me weird. Since a lot of them had done their two-year mandatory military service and had already done undergraduate school and/or gotten their masters, they mostly were in their upper twenties. Whenever we hung out our ages never seemed relevant (unless I was teasing them about being old and boring). It was really nice to feel equal among all of these obviously smart and older guys. This allowed us to be friends and to feel comfortable around each other. I think the novelty of Americans contributed to the initial candidness but the transition to friendship is what continued it.

It seemed to be the general consensus amongst all KAIST students that Daejeon was not the place to be on weekends. You didn’t have to tell us twice so every weekend Peter, Danielle, and I adventured to a different area of the country. The three of us were the best traveling companions. Danielle knew a lot about Korea’s history from her three months prior to our arrival and was amazing at planning. She gave us our own private tour of Seoul. Peter was energetic and inventive, pushing us to do things I may not have not done (like cliff jumping at Oedolgae Rock!).

The coolest thing I saw was the statue of Admiral Yi Sun-shin in Gwanghwamun Plaza. Admiral Yi fought off the Japanese during the Joseon Dynasty through several invasions from 1592 to 1598. Admiral Yi was victorious in all of his 23 battles and his last words were spent telling the navy to hide his death in secrecy so the enemy would not gain morale. Admiral Yi’s statue stands tall over a mall with water fountains spewing in front of him. At the foot of his statue lies a turtle ship, which he was known for strategically using. The water from the fountain rises to such a height that the ship could be floating on top of the water.

I was so amazed by this statue because when I originally saw it I was under the impression Admiral Yi’s body was encased by the turtle ship part of the statue. I was actually under this impression until I started writing this paragraph and looked at some websites to check my facts (FYI he is buried in his hometown next to his father). Regardless, Admiral Yi’s story still impressed me. I will admit I thought the statue was a lot more interesting when I thought his body was in the turtle ship; it made me feel a connection and brought the history of Korea alive as I stood next to it. I really enjoyed the site of children frolicking in the fountain of history under the calculating stare of the admiral. I was honored to be in what I thought was the presence of a Korean hero.

The markets in Seoul were really fun to navigate. It gave us a lot of chances to practice Korean, especially the numbers. One time Danielle and I were at Myeongdong and all of a sudden every girl we could see started screaming and running. The next thing I knew Danielle had grabbed my hand and we were running along side these fanatic girls. We arrived at the front of something similar to a mosh pit in front of a skin store and asked the security guard holding us back what was going on. A Korean pop group, 2 PM, was doing a promotion. We played the “we are Americans and have no idea what is going on and we are just trying to get out of this zoo of girls” card to get under the arms of security, which made the other fans livid, get a closer look at the stars and then left on our merry, VIP un-crowded path.

The markets in Seoul are one of the iconic images of Asia. They are filled with bright signs, tons of people, and street vendors for haggling with. But that was about the only expectation that I found to be true in my travels. Another expectation I had was that the generational gaps would be vast. Though this assumption was accurate the difference was not what I had anticipated. I thought the older women would be extremely traditional but they seemed to just be perpetually unhappy unless they are standing in the street with other old women either laughing or glaring at others. Perhaps this is a side effect of the Korean War because it does not reflect in the generations below. The younger generation was a lot more normal than the super cute hyper bubbly girls I was imagining. I think what I was picturing was more Japanese but regardless I was happy to encounter down to earth girls. Though the couples everywhere holding hands in matching outfits could make even Hubo gag.

One of the main goals of PIRE is the exchange of tribal knowledge between the United States and Korea. I learned inverse kinematics and got experience programming a robot. Though I could learn from a textbook anywhere I would not have the access to Hubo information everywhere. For instance, Inho showed me some of his Hubo code to help me learn Robotics Lab, Cheol taught me a special way to set up my Denavit-Hartenberg table. I took all the knowledge I gained and brought it back to Colby to improve the movements for playing Simon Says with miniHubo. Peter and I are vessels that brought humanoid research tools to Colby. Hubo Lab provided a mentally stimulating environment and really contributed to our research. We saw many demos and we could experiment with Hubo to get a better understanding of his movement. This contributed to making our motions as fluid and natural as possible.
By enhancing the movements of the Simon Says game we are making the robot more relatable. When people are more comfortable they are more likely to explore something new and unfamiliar. This is a great way to get everyone willing to explore technology, regardless of age or discipline. Additionally it makes the robot more impressive, which brings new people to the field of humanoids, another goal of PIRE. The United States dedicates nearly one third of its budget to military, which makes up nearly half of the world’s military budget. Robotics is and always will be focused militaristically but simple awareness can shift the public focus to humanoids and get diverse groups interested, invested, and active in the humanoid community. The more this occurs the more the humanoid community expands, spilling over into the general public, which the government cannot ignore. This can manifest simply as record number of humanoid grant approvals, more media coverage, or integrating more robotics into science curriculums nationwide. Regardless, by taking the Korean emphasis on the humanness of Hubo and applying it to our Colby project we can contribute to the momentum humanoids need.

I embody the fusion of US and Korean research. Though my research was low level compared to what the rest of Hubo Lab was doing, it was what my school needed. My project wasn’t blazing any trails in the world of robotics, which would not have been a realistic goal, but I was blazing trails for the projects at Colby. Korea provided Peter and me with resources we could not get in the United States while at the same time directly benefiting our school, which contributes to PIRE and humanoid robotics in the United States.

Additionally, the relationships we formed, though they cannot be quantified or packaged up as a deliverable, are a significant part of PIRE’s goals. The global collaboration aspect of this project is crucial to uniting engineers. Though I seldom take life advice from Woody Allen, I can’t help but admit he is right when he says, “Ninety percent of life is just showing up.” Despite my government major I made international partnerships that are indispensible, even to the engineering community. By experiencing Korea I laid that path for other Colby students to do the same. Colby is a part of the PIRE alliance and it is important that we be globally engaged due to the norm for advancements to be a result of international work. Globalization is not only about fast food chains in third world countries but the increased communication and cooperation worldwide. My success facilitates the preparation for and participation in international research collaboration for future Colby/PIRE students.

My trip to Korea has been positive for PIRE and even more so for me. This experience really opened up my eyes to the rest of the world. I am already going to Jordan for fall semester to study abroad but I enjoyed Korea so much that I am returning to study at Yonsei University for spring semester too. The lab boys and I are already planning epic reunions for February. I cannot express how thankful I am I had this opportunity; I will just have to leave it at 감사합니다.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Photo Journal #5




I can’t believe my time in Korea is already over. I am writing this photo journal from the AAAI conference in Atlanta because the end snuck up on me so quickly! Danielle, Bob, Peter and I spent the last 4 days in Jeju (the Hawaii of Korea) together but I got to spend time with the boys the night before Peter and I flew back.

My last official lab day was July 6th. Dr. Oh had a faculty meeting so he was out of the lab all day, which gave the boys a little more freedom. Typically Danielle and I would make a big deal when it was someone in the labs birthday and since we had a lot of January birthdays we decided to have a big half birthday party on that last day. Cheol , noticing the emphasis we put on birthdays, got me a half birthday cake. It was the sweetest thing ever. We put on two and a half candles (because I was 20.5 years old on July 5th) and sang happy half birthday in Korean. The cake was an awesome sweet potato cake but this is different than the American orange sweet potato. It looks like a normal potato but is sweeter and is usually served with this almost syrup tasting sauce on it.

Our idea of a big party was playing Korean card games with a traditional Korean deck of cards and, of course, good old regular poker. Chung su, Jungwoo, Inho and I stayed up late playing a tournament and then I hit the hay before waking up super early to go to Jeju.

I got back from Jeju on Sunday and it worked out perfectly that the World Cup final was at 3 30 in the morning on Monday. I got to finish up my packing and decompress from Jeju and then the boys said they would come in for one last hurrah with Peter and me. Jungwoo, Cheol, Taejin, Dongil, Peter, Danielle, and I went out and ate lots of Korean food and Soju (Korean rice alcohol). Peter and I brought our luggage in the back of Jungwoo’s car on the way there because we had to go straight to the airport immediately after the game because our flight was at 10 30 Monday morning. The above picture of Danielle, Jungwoo, Peter and me was when we were saying goodbye (even before the game ended because we didn’t have time to see it all!) on our way to the bus. It certainly was an interesting adventure getting to the airport. Actually now that I think about it, it was the exact opposite of interesting because we passed out immediately upon getting on the bus.

We got on the plane and that was it! We certainly made the most of our hours in Korea. Peter did the calculation and we did not sleep in 52 hours before finally falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow at the Georgia Tech apartments we are staying at for this conference. Definitely the longest I have ever been awake, I am pretty sure I was losing my mind. Peter and I tried to log in to his blog for about 20 minutes, going through every email he has, and didn’t even realize until the next morning we were typing his email address @google.com instead of @gmail.com. It is five o’clock even after twelve hours of sleep last night and I am already ready to go to sleep.

I was really sad to leave Korea. I was mostly sad to say goodbye to everyone I met. Going around the country was really fun and I was really glad I did it but my favorite part was definitely just hanging out with the lab boys. I loved how they would teach me bits and pieces of Korean, help me out on my project whenever, eat whatever crazy delicious concoctions Danielle and I would make, go along with all of our ideas that must have seemed ridiculous to them, and just being friends with a group of great guys. I mean no one has actually gotten me a half birthday cake, no matter how much I go on and on about it.

I really hope to stay in touch with them in the long term. Jungwoo and Cheol already had facebooks and Danielle is setting them up for the other guys. I actually skyped with Danielle at 4 this morning (jetlag…) and got to say hi to everyone. Danielle said afterwards they all said how much they missed us and wanted us to come back and just really great things so I don’t feel like I am keeping up fake relationships but real friendships. I also have been convincing them to come to the US and hopefully down the road they will. Who knows, maybe I will hit up Korea in the future and be able to hang out with them.

All in all it was such an amazing trip. I think back to the time in February when I first heard about it and my apprehension about traveling to Asia for six weeks. I mean if you had asked me before this trip where the last place on the planet you would ever find me it would probably be some Asian country. Now I am so happy I went and can’t wait to return. It is different but people are people. I had so much fun getting to know the hubo boys and exploring the country that I definitely would not trade this summer for anything.

This experience was even more perfect when I think about it in conjunction with my traveling abroad this September to Jordan. Korea was the perfect stepping-stone because the language is completely different like Arabic, which gave me the feeling of being really helpless while at the same time being an easier language and everyone in Korea is nice and helpful (which I am not expecting to the same extent if at all in Jordan). I got to learn how to travel the right way in a very foreign country to an American but still a safe environment. I can apply this to make myself more effective at traveling and living in Jordan; I have that many less hiccups to survive.

It is amazing how attached one can get in six weeks. Even less than six weeks in the program I was near tears when the Korean Red Devils got eliminated in the World Cup! I hope I get to see these guys at many points again in my life but in the mean time thank you whoever invented the internet!

Final Results


This was the final result of my project. This is my 3 degree of freedom version of the Puma robot programmed to spell out my name in the air. I also programmed it to write Inho's name in the air because he helped me so much. After I wrote my last blog post Inho went to Mexico and so I was on my own. I really wanted Inho to be proud when came back and to have proof that i was working the whole week. I first saw him at midnight the night he came back and i went up to his desk and said that my robot could write his name. He said he wanted to see and as we were walking in the hallway he asked "who helped you?" and i proudly, like a five year old, said i did it by myself. He watched and was super impressed and told me i did a good job like three times (which if you have been reading is legit). I was sooooo happy. Its odd, i have never really looked for someone's approval as much as Inho's. I am not sure why, maybe because i really liked him, but i just wanted him to think I was doing a good job.

I didn't actually use inverse kinematics to do the name writing because the positions were very easy and mostly just common sense. I am still glad I learned it though. It gave me a much deeper appreciation for the problem solving involved in robots. It is easy to just think a robot can do anything but still serious work is put into just getting a robot to move the slightest bit.

Along with this appreciation though came the realization that robots are no where near where I thought they were. The media makes it sound like any day now we are going to have robots servants, or robots running the world, or robots doing amazing things we can't even dream up yet but we are no where near that. I remember Danielle asked Dr. Oh when is she going to get a robot to do her dishes and Dr. Oh said she would be lucky if she ever saw that. Additionally Hubo is run by Jungwoo on a computer pressing buttons. I haven't seen it do anything autonomously so there certainly is a long way to go before I get my robot servant.

The problem (and im not sure i even know what i mean when i say the problem, i guess just the whole robot uh..thing...) is a lot more complex than I assumed. I know I only learned a tiny piece but I get why even though all over the world people have dedicated themselves to robots we still don't have flying cars and what not. This was a solid educational experience and I would recommend it on so many levels to anyone. I am a government major and I still got a ton out of it. Anyone willing to work hard and be out going should absolutely jump at this opportunity. All that matters at all is whether you are willing to put in the effort to do what you want. It really is the type of program where you get out what you put in and I will be forever grateful I put all I could in.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Photo Journal #4


This is a picture from the weekend Peter and I spent in Seoul. We met up with Cheol (on the very left), his brother (on the very right), and his brother’s friend to watch the Korea world cup game (and it was pouring rain).

This week provided me with a window into the mind of Koreans. Up until now I was under the impression that yea, maybe had some different customs but that essentially we all thought the same way. I knew there were some differences, like the way disabled people are swept under the rug or homosexuality was not accepted but we encounter that in the US regularly to some extent, or at least I am aware of that line of thinking. I was so surprised at three instances this week in which Koreans left political correctness at the door and just said it like it is.

First was Cheol. Bob, Peter, Danielle, Cheol and I were sitting around. Bob was talking about Mike going to the gym and Cheol said, Mike needs to go to the gym. He needs to burn off his fat. He needs to burn some calories to get into shape, he is too fat. The four of us were just silent, jaws semi-dropped. Danielle then asked “you said that to him?!” and Cheol replied “yes, he needs to know. I am helping him” completely serious, like he had just done something really nice for Mike. We continued on saying , “you cant say that! That is mean.” But he insisted, saying how it wasn’t mean, that he was helping him. We were all so surprised. However in retrospect Cheol also told Danielle that she had gotten bigger compared to when she first got here (which isn’t true by the way) right before going into a bathhouse. But then it seemed like a joke, whereas this time he sincerely was trying to help Mike. Another instance of this was when Mr. Kim walked up to the office manager and told her she had a big pimple on her face. She just looked down when she told him and when Danielle asked him about it he too explained how he was helping her.

At first I was just so surprised that my knee jerk reaction was how do they not have emotions, I mean do they think that the other person doesn’t know already? But I find it sort of refreshing now. They just speak the truth instead of cluttering it up with formalities. And if that is the norm then maybe hearing someone say a comment along those lines wouldn’t be as hurtful as it may sound to us Americans. No beating around the bush, straight to the point. I like that. Another aspect of this is that it seems Koreans wear their emotions on their sleeves. They don’t put on happy faces to make everyone around them happy; if they are angry, upset, sad you know it.

This week was the final stages of my semi-puma robot project. I was writing the code for it and no matter what I did I could not get control of one of my three servo motors. I had spent hours trying to fix it but finally asked Inho and he straight up told me not to bother him with little problems and that he has been reading other people’s code a lot and it is takes a lot of time for anyone besides the writer to understand what is going on and that he was not my teacher. Of course it was really hard to hear this but the fact he just told me and his actions and facial expressions clearly matched what he was saying made me really appreciate what he was saying. He was totally right and he was not going out of his way to soften the blow.

I have welcomed this sharp contrast but I think that is due to my personality. I would much rather here how I am failing right to my face than have it sugar coated and watered down. I have a feeling this won’t catch on in the US. I don’t think enough people share my enthusiasm for bluntness; everything is about positive reinforcement but sometimes people just need to hear they are wrong. It makes the compliments that much more momentous. I know when Cheol said I was a fast learner or when Inho says good job that they truly mean it.

Sometimes we flirt with heartbreak when we ask the guys how we look to Koreans or if we are too big compared to the Korean girls but that is part of the fun (cheol says that Danielle and I are not too big and that we are a good size, so whew dodged a bullet there). I will miss this honest society but maybe I will spare those who surround me from bringing back this part of the culture, well anymore than I already do
: ).

Monday, June 28, 2010

Project Time


I have finally finished building and programming my Puma robot. It was really rough. I first had to learn inverse kinematics, which I thought i understood until Inho gave me a test. On the test were two robots and I had to show the denavit-hartenberg parameters, tranformation matricies, and inverse kinematic solutions for them. I got through the first one fine and the second one was the puma robot. I did the forward kinematics and then started the inverse kinematics but none of my expressions were making any sense. I spent about a day working through it on my own because I wasn't allowed to ask any questions (it was a test, picture on the right). But it really just got to the point where I had no idea what to do and so I started asking other people in the lab questions whenever Inho wasn't in the room because Inho kept telling me "this is easy! this is easy!" He had checked my forward kinematics just to be sure I was on the right path. I must have talked to every single person in the lab asking little tid-bit questions asking for help until finally Minguk realized that the forward kinematics were wrong. Inho was really surprised it was wrong. When he made the table he made it the same way I did so that made me feel less stupid. So now that I had the revised parameters I went to work on the inverse kinematics again.

I worked on it all night and all morning and still couldn't figure it out though. I was struggling so hard and felt so bad about myself because Inho kept laughing and telling me how easy it was. I just got so frustrated I took a nap and when I woke up Choel offered to go through the whole problem with me, from the beginning. I was so grateful. He sat down with me and we made it about five minutes before he informed me the robot was impossible. I'm not really sure what that means but he said there was no way to do the inverse kinematics. So I was back to square one and more confused than ever.

I finally went to Inho for help who just kept telling me i was getting confused because I was talking to lots of different people and getting conflicting information, which was true, and that I should just listen to him. The big controversy was one parameter in the denavit-hartenberg table, which describes the structure and movement of the robot. But one parameter changes all of the transformation matrices and the elements of the matrices are essential in figuring out the inverse kinematics (determining the joint angles for a robot to be in a certain position). I was beginning to just feel really bad about myself and that I didn't deserve to be in Hubo Lab. I am surrounded by math and engineering masters and PhD students, why would a political science major be here? I don't even know the trig identites, crucial to discovering the solution. I kept trying to tell myself that I am trying, I learn quickly, and that I am doing the best I can but i couldn't help thinking I just wasn't good enough.

I was fianlly just so beat down I went up to Inho and said "if this is so easy could you please just walk me through it." He had the most annoyed look on his face, he was clearly getting sick of having to deal with me. He sat down and started at the beginning. After twenty minutes I couldn't tell if it was difficult for him or not so I asked him if it was still easy for him and he said no, it was very hard. We sat there for over an hour. He approached in in three different ways, moving on to the next method when he couldn't solve it with the current one. He eventually used some method I hadn't read about in any of the books and was more advanced he said. And even then we didn't get all of the angles. Inho said he accidentally gave me a robot arm that has an offset (or something...) instead of what he had intended. So I think he understood why I was running around asking so many questions. I felt so much better after he had struggled so long. I had no confidence in my math abilities when I went to ask him for help but by the end I was proud that I had put so much effort into it and gave it my all because even Inho really struggled to solve the problem.

So with my spirits renewed I set off on building the Puma in Robotics Lab, the original simulation program I was using instead of Webots. I was going to work on the finger pointing for SimonSays at Colby but Inho was adamant I do the Puma robot to get experience. Now that I am writing about it I wonder why he cared so much. I bet he regrets it now (wait till you hear about programming the robot...). There were many senior students in the lab who told me not to do the puma robot and to work on Webots but Inho would get angry whenever I suggested doing otherwise and said to only listen to him, which is really uncharactersitic of him because he is a huge clown, he never gets angry so i figured it must be serious. He was my mentor so I listened to him.

I built the Puma robot in Robotics Lab and set out on programming it. Inho gave me some sample code he used to program Hubo and I examined it to learn how to control mine. I started off ok, asking intelligent questions and got control of two out of three of the joints. No matter what I did though the last joint was constantly moving. It looked like Inho had a lot of work so I spent hours trying to figure it out on my own but I couldn't get it. I also don't know C, the programming language of Robotics Lab, so I spent most of time reading the code over and over again, stepping through it to make sure I didn't do anything stupid when I inevitably would have to ask for help. It all looked sound to me so I took a deep breath and asked Inho.

He came into the room and when I showed him the problem he said it was a very small problem and not to bother him with little problems. I felt so bad. I know he is working really hard and has his own work and taking care of the americans is not high on his to do list. I told him how long i had been working on it and he replied that lots of people have been asking him questions and it is really hard to understand someone else's code, and he is right. I kept feeling worse and worse. My guilt was magnified because Inho was totally in the right. I was being such a burden and even though it may not be my fault I was the problem, i still was the problem. Something I really appreciate about the guys in the lab is that they are very straight forward. Maybe it is because they don't know english that well so they can't beat around the bush or maybe it is cultural but they just come out and say whatever. I mean it sucks to be on the negative receiving end of this bluntness but I would rather that than not know what is really going on. Inho left the room and I was back to zero confidence and on top of that felt so guilty about irratating him so much.

Peter and I went to the conveinence store (i didn't even get ice cream i was feeling so terrible...) and when I came back Inho was sitting at my computer looking at my code. He spent an hour on it to find the problem and to make things even worse he turned to me half way through and said "i am not your teacher." I didn't even know how to respond, i was just so emotionally dead, lost, confused, feeling guilty. He figure out that there are different sets of axes in Robotics Lab and that I changed one set to make the motors oriented appropriately but it had to be a different set that we hadn't even heard of. I had no energy so I just went to sleep again so I could wake up and tackle the problem (left is the sleeping room in the lab)

I woke up feeling a lot better and went to work on fixing the axes. I ran the program and IT WORKED!! It was probably the most exctied I have ever been. I was so happy. I worked really hard and even though I got tons of help from everyone I felt like I had actually done something. Now that I can get the robot to go to a certain point I am going to try and link together movements. For example getting it to spell out my name in the air, or something like that. Who knows what emotional roller coaster this task will bring but I think I know a lot more of what I am doing. And as much as I used to get frustrated when Inho told me I needed to do this for experience, he was right. I am really happy I struggled through because it was definitely worth it.