Blatant Racism

We read about racism and know it still exists but I have never seen it manifest itself in a single person so strongly. When I think of racism in the United States I think of opportunities that are not given to everyone and quick assumptions that are made but never admitted. No one says they are racist. I have seen racism but I think of institutions, not another human being (even though that obviously exists too).

I was walking one day with my two friends when a Jordanian girl cheerfully approached us. It was the first time a Jordanian spoke to me unsolicited so when she asked to be friends I said sure, why not? We hang out a lot; I have met her friends and really like her, we have tons of fun.

One day we were at lunch together and she asks me, “Would you ever consider marrying a black guy?” Not really realizing what she was getting at I just had a confused face and said of course, if I loved him. I am not one to be speechless but what she said next my brain could not comprehend. “nigger nigger nigger, they are so disgusting. So gross, ew.” I was so taken aback that I couldn’t speak for the next five seconds and when I finally could I began speaking about how no one should be treated differently because of the color of their skin and how can you expect to be treated with respect if you don’t respect others and that we are all people, no matter what we look like. Obviously my explanation was not going to change a lifetime of indoctrination but I had no idea this even existed here.

I was so confused because she seemed so normal. She is a young woman at a university; she is not stupid. How can these racist ideas still exist? And I am torn, I feel like I can’t blame her because it was what she was taught and how she was brought up. But if it is no one’s fault, how will things change? We look back on the South with slavery and wonder how such atrocities could have happened but if that was what you were taught could it excuse your behavior? Can you be held accountable for something that isn’t your fault? Or is it her fault? Should each individual that doesn’t break the mold be held accountable; if you aren’t part of the solution you are part of the problem?

Even just writing this I am confusing myself. Well not confusing myself but realizing how much gray area there really is. Sometimes I think growing up in a progressive environment simplified too much, made right and wrong too easily distinguishable, when the only way to see reality and how people think is to see it for yourself.